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Goth jokes

Source: Many different posters on alt.gothic and other newsgroups.
 
Q: What's the difference between a goth girl and a goth guy?
A: About 200 lbs.
 
Q: How do you get a goth out of a three?
A: Cut the rope.
 
Q: How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: What's a lightbulb?
A2: None, but one does have to light the candle.
A3: None, they just embrace the darkness.
A4: Three, one to change it and two to talk about Lord Byron's Grand Tour and creative uses of laudanum in a metaphysical envirionment.
 
Q: What's the difference between a Goth and an onion?
A: You cry when you cut an onion.
 
Q: Why didn't the goth cross the road.
A: Because she never left the house.
 
Q: What do you call a goth lying in the road?
A: A speed bump.
 
Q: What's the difference between a goth and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.
 
Q: What do you call someone who is shovelling manure in black lace gloves, only stopping his work occasionally to smoke "weed"?
A: High goth hick.
 
Q: What do you call a painting of someone who's just shovelled manure in black lace gloves, standing next to a severe looking woman staring off into the middle distance, in front of a Midwestern farmhouse?
A: American Goth-Hick.
 
Q: Should the painting come to life, whereupon the shoveller takes his shovel and beats the severe looking woman to a bloody pulp, what would you be feeling?
A: Goth hick horror.
 
Q: What do you call a gothic toilet?
A: Bowelhaus.
 
Q: What's the latest Godzilla movie?
A: Gothra vs Godzilla. A giant moth with piercings and black plumage attempts to kill Godzilla with a continual loop of Sex Children Gang's "Barbarossa" played at 130 decibels. Godzilla prevails by donning an Andrew Eldritch costume and commanding Gothra to sacrifice himself to Dani Filth.
 
Q: If you know two guys named Eric, one who's a goth and one who's a balanced individual, what do you call the goth?
A: The odd Eric.
 
Q: If you hire an aristocratic assassin to kill a goth chick during the mass in a famous Parisian church, but your contract killer shoots the wrong person because all goths look alike, what do you say?
A: Not her, dame.
 
Q: Where do Goths go on their holidays?
A: Nowhere, miserable bastards.
 
A goth, a rabbi, and a priest walk in to a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
 

Toegevoegd door: Kees de Keijzer
Twitter: @kdkq

humor

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-- Voltaire --


10 12 2018

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